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Ted Walks The Plank by Jane Yunker
I’m happy to welcome Jane Yunker as our newest Ted Hunter. Jane has joined the project by sharing a creative story of her own, and I’m grateful she took the time to be part of this growing collection of authors who are helping me take on Ted in their own unique ways.
I won’t give away too much before you read it, but Jane’s story takes us somewhere I certainly didn’t expect to find Ted. I hope you enjoy “Ted Walks the Plank” as much as I did.
Jane, thank you for joining the project and for sharing your creativity with us. I’m so glad you’re here.
A Little About The Murder of Ted Project
If you’re new here, The Murder of Ted is my ongoing personal blog series about my real-life battle with breast cancer, otherwise known as Ted. The Ted Must Die Project grew from that series, with authors joining me as Ted Hunters and using their own creativity to help send Ted packing.
Each Hunter brings something completely different to the fight, and that’s what makes this project so much fun.
Meet Ted Hunter: Jane Yunker
Jane Yunker lives in northwest Wisconsin along the beautiful St Croix River. When she’s not writing American historical fiction, you can find her walking the trails, golfing, or visiting her grandson in sunny southwest Florida. She also enjoys reading, x-stitch, and jigsaw puzzles.
Check out her blog at: www.janeyunkerauthor.com.
Purchase her books on Amazon
TED WALKS THE PLANK
By Jane Yunker
The great white sails of the galleon Empowered snapped in the night wind, a bright white against the moonlit Caribbean sky blanketed with stars. Ropes creaked and gentle waves lapped the wooden sides. The ship’s all-female crew crowded the deck and sat along the masts’ crossbeams, their attention focused on Ted, a sniveling lump of a man tied to the base of the main mast. Their captain, Michelle, stood in front of him. Feet planted squarely at shoulder width, hands on hips, she stared down at him.
“I don’t understand,” he sniffled.
She smirked and looked up. “Did you hear that, ladies? Ted doesn’t understand.”
“I was only doing my job.”
The women shook their heads, speaking to each other in a buzz of voices.
“Doesn’t understand!?” one shouted.
“Oh, he understands,” another replied.
“Kill Ted! Kill Ted! Kill Ted!” The chant began with one voice and quickly spread to all.
Michelle held up a hand and the women fell silent. “Perhaps we should explain it to him. Who’d like to go first?”
“You took my mother from me!” Rachel screamed out from the crowd. “I was only twelve. A girl, not a woman, and I was forced to raise my younger siblings when our father couldn’t bear the grief.”
Mary stepped forward. “You tried to take my sister.”
“But I didn’t,” he gave her a weak, hopeful smile.
“Not for trying.”
“And my friend,” yelled another.
“My auntie.”
“My neighbor.”
“ME!”
One voice after another hollered out her anger and sorrow.
“You see, Ted,” Michelle continued once the outroar quieted. “Every woman on this ship has lived through the fear, and sometimes sorrow, of what you do.”
“Is this about your hair?”
Michelle touched the brightly colored scarf wrapped around her head. “No, Ted. Hair grows back.”
“Your breast?” He nodded toward her chest. “Sorry about that.”
“No, you’re not. You’re never sorry, Ted, or you’d leave us alone. You’d go away and never show your ugly face again.”
He laughed. A cold, bloodless sound that made Michelle shiver. “You’re right, but that’s never going to happen.”
His heartless smile only strengthened her resolve.
“So, Michelle, what are you going to do about it?”
She looked up, her eyes scanning the faces of her crew. “What do you say, ladies? What do we do?”
“Kill Ted! Kill Ted! Kill Ted!” they chanted, each cry louder than the one before until Michelle was certain every captain and crew within a thousand miles could hear them. She held up a hand to quiet them.
“You heard them, Ted. We’re going to kill you.”
“The plank! The plank! The plank!”
“Untie him,” she commanded.
Rachel sliced the rope with a single swing of her saber. Ted leapt to his feet and lunged at Michelle, but she was prepared and sent him sprawling backwards with a punch to his face. She lifted him to his feet and held him still while Rachel tied his hands behind him.
“Walk!” Rachel stuck the point of her saber into his back, pushing him toward the plank that reached far out from the side of the Empowered.
“I’ll only return again,” he said, chin held high. “Maybe not in you, but in someone you love.”
Michelle shrugged. “And we will kill you over and over again for as long as it takes before you disappear for good.”
Ted stood at the end of the plank. Rachel held out her saber. “Should I? Or do you wish to do the honors, Captain?”
Michelle stared down at the moonlit surface of the water. A pair of sharks circled beneath the plank. Taking the saber from her friend’s hand, she stuck the saber into his back and he disappeared screaming into the black depths of the ocean. The sharks went for him in a bloody feeding frenzy while the crew cheered them on.
“Good-bye, Ted,” Michelle said with a self-satisfied sneer.
THE END
Jane, thank you for becoming a Ted Hunter and for taking the time to write and share this story with me and my readers. I love seeing the creativity each author brings to the project, and I’m especially grateful that you decided to jump in and help me take on Ted.
I think he deserves it.
If you enjoyed Jane’s story, I hope you’ll take a little time to check out her other books and discover more of her writing.
As always, thanks for stopping by for some Salty Inspirations! —Michelle❤️
